so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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