Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
