There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I understand Curling. That high.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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