Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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