I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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