eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
