ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
