I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
