We need to rekindle our bromance
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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