And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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