We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
