Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
