Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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