took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
