I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
