worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
