Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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