i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
