it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
