So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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