Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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