After last night, I could never be a politician.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
