wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
