It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
