I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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