Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Bring me that man meat
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We need to get me chipped asap
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
