don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
