Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
