Why are handjobs necessary in class?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
