North Korea, Best Korea!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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