So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
