My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
As shirtless as possible
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
