Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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