I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Sex in the backyard? Check.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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