for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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