It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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