Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
