Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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