so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
