yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
