I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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