My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
