Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
