I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
