My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
