just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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