Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
