if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
