We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
