Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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