haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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