My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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