do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
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