I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
