If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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