I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
